Spiritual detachment

I love writing. But the last few months has been a moment of reflection and self-assessment. Why do I write?

I started to recognize something very unsettling. Writing was no longer personal. It became an activity I used to seek external comfort and praise. I began identifying myself based on the amounts of 'likes', 'comments' or views I received. Even now... writing this is (slightly) difficult.

It sucks looking back at my previous posts from two years ago. Don't get it twisted... God seriously revealed so much of Himself to me during that time. My concern, however, isn't how much God showed me, but what I did with it. My life was a pendulum where I swung from one pole to the other. From being a religion-hating youth that rebelled against God's desire to love me, I became a pride-filled-religious-zealot determined that I had my spiritual path "under control".

I AM a sinner, I have hurt many people, I have an imperfect history, and I probably will continue to fall short from perfection. Although I am physically removed from my shortcomings, I still feel the weight of frustration, anger, sadness, bitterness, and jealousy.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. - Ephesians 6:12

This past Sunday, I was strongly reminded that although I have physically divorced myself from the things in my past, there is a spiritual divorce that is still very much needed. And the only One to deliver me is Jesus Himself. Amen.