Letting go

[Thoughts from May, 2014]

I really don't know how to start writing. My thoughts are accompanied with various emotions at the moment.

In preparation for our marriage, Michelle and I recognize the importance of certain relationships. It's so strange how distant some have become. We try so hard to love people... but from our wedding preparation, interesting colors surface in relationships.

This leads me to thoughts on strongholds. As we prepare for our marriage, numerous strongholds begin surfacing. I always knew I valued the opinions of people highly. I knew I cared about how others felt or thought of me... Seriously, that's RIDICULOUS.

Why do I care so much about looking Godly? Why do I care so much that others see that I have a relationship with Jesus? In Matthews, Jesus even said that they will get their reward on earth, but not in heaven (Matthew 6). It SUCKS seeing the hypocrisy of my heart.

Another stronghold is comfort. Gosh... we've heard this in so many sermons, so many blogs, so many Facebook posts, and the cliche quote "step out of your comfort zone." Now that I am faced with opportunities entering a new season in my life, I am challenged to let go what I am used to.

... let go.

Writing that feels liberating. It brings me back to the beginning of a disciple's walk with Jesus and the weight of His call to follow Him. It helps me empathize with the disciples when Jesus said "...come and see." It warns me that if I do not let go, I am incapable to receive all that He has for me.