Today, I am reminding myself that my worth is not generated by the world. Back to paying attention to my prof...
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Job and future
I'm in class right now. I'm currently finishing up my last semester at Ryerson University, and I am honestly more scared than excited. As I am approaching this finish line, all my broken conceptions of the 'future' and 'self-worth' is starting to surface. It's messed up how my culture or upbringing connects worth with one's future career. Sigh... as I am applying for work, I'm pretty scared and uncertain of how my future will unfold. It's difficult sometimes to see how other people have 'things together' while I am just realizing 'how' to have things together.
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embrace that fear and uncertainty. knowing that you had no part in forging your future will allow God alone to receive glory. Enjoy these moments of your life. The King of kings and Lord of lords, who's eyes are fire and mouth holds the double edge sword will purify you and pave the way! Hallelujah!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what emotions go with the words, "it's messed up how my culture... connects worth" but i hope that it's sadness and mourning for the world and not anger and resentment towards it. With sadness and mourning comes love and healing. Anger and resentment ... well you know what that does :P
I just 'ache' when reminded of how our culture (the Asian; school is everything culture) brings up their kids. One of the frequent sharings I hear from mentorship and the youths at our church is that their parents prefer them going to school, and be successful first before caring about their relationship with Jesus. I'm not sure if I feel sadness and mourning for my culture. At the current moment, I'm just aching because I need to unlearn that mindset and realize that my number one is Jesus. The process of unlearning something that's been ingrained into the fiber of my identity is quite frustrating.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement e