Fast and Furious

Note: this post has NOTHING to do with the movie. lol

My family and Derek (who's pretty much a part of my family) went on a trip to Niagara Falls. My sister, Derek and I were looking for some desert on Clifton Hill. We walked by an individual asking for money (I don't want to label him 'homeless' cause that's just an automatic assumption) and noticed that the guy had no legs, and his only form of mobility was his wheel chair. At the desert place, Derek came up to me and asked if it was OK if he gave that guy our take-out food from TGI Friday. Mind you, we had ribs, fries and a salad in that take-out box! Furthermore, we were STILL HUNGRY! I encouraged Derek to follow his convictions and he then ran across the road and disappeared around the corner with the box of food in hand. He came back a minute later and expressed to me this strange joy that flooded through him. We were no longer hungry.

This incident reminded me of the biblical practice of 'fasting.' I remember believing that 'fasting' was simply the abstinence of food. It IS that, but MORE! Fasting isn't only abstaining from food, it's also about being fed continually by the bread of life - His Word! I can't explain this phenomenon, but the last time I fasted, I abstained from food for an entire week. However, I was utterly full and dependent on meditating on His Word and prayer. It's crazy, the more we eat in this world, the fuller we get. But the more we eat of His words, the more hungrier we get. And believe me, the Lord does not allow us to grow hungry if we are truly hungering for His Words.

Thinking back to Derek's incident, his simple hunger to accept the challenges of scripture only lead him to express a furious love that this world rarely encounters. My hope is that as my disciples bask into the Father's Words, they become beacons of His furious love for the community around us.

Slow traffic keep left

As I merged onto the passing lane on the highway, I found myself going at 90 km/h behind a car. There were no cars in front of this car and all the other cars in the middle and slow lane were going at the same speed! My patience was totally being tested, and these were my thoughts (lol):

In our 'spiritual highway', there SEEMS to be three lanes (when there's really only two). A slow lane for those Christians that just want to live the life. These are the ones that have no sense of urgency or excitement to reach the destination. These are the Christians that feel as though they have all the time in the world.

The middle lane are for those Christians we call 'lukewarm.' They want to ensure that they can choose either lane whenever they want - to pass or not to pass! These are the Christians that are indecisive or too scared to accelerate to their destination. They realize they should drive faster, but they don't want to go all in.

The fast lane are those Christians we label as 'radical'. These are the Christians that are full out; all for Jesus, Christians. They are the ones that seem to always be in the hurry and they're always up and about with our Father's business. These are the Christians that probably struggle with the concept of 'rest' or 'sabbath' because they're always in a hurry.

When I drove behind that car, I was pretty frustrated. I felt as if this slow driver represented those Christians that slow us down in our kingdom labor. How dare they stand between me and my Father's business! Bahaha...!!

LOL... When I got to my destination, I realized how I just compromised my impatience. It was interesting how easy it was to make my impatience seem 'OK.' Obviously it isn't OK. I just thought it was interesting how I referenced it to a Christian's journey with Christ. The Gospel tells us to love those of low positions, and to consider others better than ourselves. Gosh... Jesus even told us to SERVE THEM -_-" In Romans 12:16, it says "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position (even slow drivers. Do not be conceited."

LOL ... Adrienne and I just found it funny how I tried making sense of my frustration with the slow driver on the passing lane in front of me!

Pause before the new year

For whatever reason, I've been feeling convicted about the relationship between a [spiritual] race and mentorship. What does 'rest' look like? How are my disciples running? When I ponder over 'how they are running', I am not wondering how many ministries are they serving in or how often do they go to church or how "spiritual" do they sound? I'm essentially praying over their spiritual stamina, fitness, and ability in the race marked out for them.

I was talking to my girlfriend about my thoughts and it's just beautiful how she allows our Father's heart to pour into mine. Through conversations and prayer, I felt convicted to hold off meeting with my mentees until 2012. I believe the remainder of this 2011 year should be spent in prayer. Some of these guys just need to 'rest' and to be 'prayerful'. If a mentor produces disciples that do not pray and does not rest, then there's a problem! LOL I'm essentially creating machines. And if disciples do not pray... are they really disciples?

Furthermore, why is it that my guys could abstain from a majority of all the ten commandments except one - "keep the sabbath day Holy." Now, I am not bashing on my guys. I too fall short in resting! To be renewed, one needs to rest; and renewal is a daily thing. You don't pray, read the bible, talk godly, or have fellowship once every two weeks at mentorship. It has to be a daily exercise (keeping in line with increasing our spiritual stamina and workout). Some people think that 'resting' means to sit as a spectator in a race; others think that rest means to slow down in the race. I read this passage in Hebrews 12:1 yesterday in small group. It says: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us..." The goal is Christ. To run is Christ. To die is to gain. The moment we feel like sitting as a spectator is the moment the enemy has won. The moment we feel like slowing down is the moment we loss our sense of eagerness with the Lord. So no... resting is not slowing down or sitting aside in the race marked out for us. Resting allows us to focus clearer at the end goal as He graciously imparts His mysterious will, compassion, power and vision upon us. Resting allows us to taste a piece of His heart for us! Wow - isn't that amazing?! Now wouldn't that make us want to run supernaturally faster?! As we rest, we receive His great love for us as supposed to be working so hard that we forget to receive. Rest isn't a physical thing where we do nothing or stop running. Sabbath is a sabbath of the heart.

So the group is just going to do our own thing, and if that means hanging out with one another - kekeke - COOL! And if that means hanging out without talking about Jesus, so be it. But to be honest, my favorite conversational topic is about Jesus. But I am opened to essentially anything :p Perhaps the rest of this month could be used to build what we might have lost focus on - to build relationships with one another. Now, taking a break from mentorship does not mean we're doing nothing. I said go be prayerful. Honestly, if we can't even be prayerful when we DON'T meet, how are we trusting God in any of this? So for the next few weeks where me and the guys hang out, we probably won't be doing what we usually do. We'll probably just hang out and just pray.

Overall, prayer expresses the vitality of a disciple. My hope is that we may be more prayerful and less conversational with one another. Coming together to share our life issues and struggles is an awesome and well needed thing. In the end, we need to recognize that our life issues should not be submitted to one another, but to God.

Part 1 - the Nerd

http://vimeo.com/33261203

The crew was bored and so we decided to make a random video. On January 22, 2007, (in order of appearance) Derek, Anton, Heat, and Jeremy, decided to create a comedic video series of how an invincible bully 'became' a bully.

This is Part 1. The protagonist (the giddy nerd) came to school to find himself being bullied by three high school jocks. To their surprise, the nerd utilized their 'method' of bullying against them! In later series, we will show how this victory actually destroyed the innocence from this nerd as he himself became the invincible bully.

Generally, we experience the same thing in life - 'we do to others what others have done to us.' The video is not supposed to encourage school bullying, but to make us aware that our actions has great effects that may or may not affect us in the future.

Videography: Gabe
Songs: riding dirty and i'm yours

I Will Rise

I Will Rise - Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know

Though my heart and flesh may fail

There's an anchor for my soul

I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name

No more sorrow, no more pain

I will rise on eagles' wings

Before my God fall on my knees

And rise

I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near

When this darkness breaks to light

And the shadows disappear

And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the dead

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,

"Worthy is the Lamb"

And I hear the cry of every longing heart,

"Worthy is the Lamb"

Haven't been feeling like myself lately. Bombarded with school, thoughts, desires, and financial issues. The heaviness on my heart just keeps increasing and increasing. I feel as though the scabs on my [spiritual] body I thought were considered healed are currently being picked at by God. I just feel Him peeling up the scabs and gently dabbing the wound with disinfectant. I guess my old wounds haven't healed properly.

This is one of the songs that reassures me of my Fathers love for me. Indeed there is peace as I come to know who He is. Regardless of the storm around me, I will not be abound from side to side because He is my anchor. When He leads me through hardship, it is not so that I may experience harm, but to experience hope. When He disciplines me, it is never to make me feel foolish, but to free me from the consequences of my foolishness. He never acts out of frustration or irritation, but always in love and great affection for me.

This song reminds me of Hebrews 2:14-18 "Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham’s descendants. For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."

My God is not a god that is distant, but is with me. He is not a God that tells me how to be freed from suffering, but suffered for me so that I may be freed from suffering. He died so that we may live. My God experienced what I experience. He is a relational God - not one that is distant. There are so many things that occurred in my life that I have no idea as to why they had to happen. But in the end, it is such a powerful hope that one day, my faith shall be my eyes. It will no longer be me, but Him. No longer my desires, but His. Not my will, but His will.

Oh Father, mold me and make me to become more and more like You. As You have risen, I too want to rise...

Spider Man vs Pride

A friend of mine (batman), since the first day we met, equated my life to Spiderman. God blessed me with a special ability such as breakdancing. Likewise, Peter Parker was blessed with an ability Uncle Ben labelled as 'power' - with great power comes great responsibility. Similar to Parker, I used my power/ability to serve selfish ambitions. We both needed to loss friends, family, and opportunities to show us our internal demons. Sadly, learning the same things over and over again is the life-story for almost all people. In the Old Testament, after experiencing extreme supernatural events such as passing through the Red Sea, the Israelites began to doubt God three days after the crossing! After experiencing a near death situation where my car spun off the road and into a bus shelter, I obtained no cuts or bruises. The aftermath of the accident was that the entire driver side of the car was completely wedged in, glass was cracked everywhere, the bus sheltered tipped over, and a recycling bin flew into a plaza parking lot. Mind you... I was driving with no seatbelt. But the one thing I do remember is feeling as if I were wearing a seatbelt. Almost like a hand pushing against my chest preventing me from smashing my head against the window. The Israelites forgot God in three days. I forgot Him on the same day *sigh*. The apostle Peter walked alongside with Jesus and heard His teachings on love. Years later, he needed to be rebuked by Paul for his selective love against the Gentiles. I grew up in a Christian family. But I lived my entire life as if I had no family.

From my previous post, I talked briefly of what breakdancing did to my life. In brief, the gifted ability to dance in such a way was clouded by my own 'Venom' called pride. It destroyed parts of my life such as relationships and family. However, in November 2009, after seeing the carnage I did with the lives I was surrounded with, I surrendered to no other than God. I remember telling myself I didn't want to live with the guilt I carried everyday. I was ashamed and disgusted of the sins I had committed before God and people. I guess I found something worse than dying - to die in guilt. Urbana 2009 was my first encounter with the Lord. I saw before me a sea filled with my sins and the blood of my Lord and Savior covered it all. In 2:01 of the Spiderman Trailer, it shows a quick clip of Parker's struggle in peeling off the Venom that kept him enveloped. All this was done as the church bell rang! Here's another clip: bell scene (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjuEtEjeMSo). The scene reminds me of my struggling decision to be freed from the bondage of my past and flesh by allowing God to take president in my life.

See, it's easy to say "I believe in God." The difficultly I experienced is letting Him "lead" my life. What I did not realize before until now is that if I did not allow Him to lead my life, Venom was.

Floodgatez trailer (looking back...moving forward)

So why did I decide to title this: "Looking back...moving forward?" Breakdancing was a huge thing in my life. In brief, my highschool was a dark time. I was a passionate kid, but with no direction. I strived for excellence in whatever I got myself into - even 'bad' stuff. In grade 12, a saw a group of breakdancers dancing inside a circle (cypher) and a girl asked me, "can you do that?" I remember saying 'yes' just to show off! But I was completely dumbfounded at the energy people were expressing in their dance.

I started doing handstands, coffee grinders, and simple power moves (i.e. swipes, crickets) from the end of 2003 to 2006. During that time, my family couldn't afford the Internet, and we were still using floppy discs (CD burners JUST came out when I was in grade 12). I remember copying the moves from these animated GIF characters of Street Fighter's Ken and Ryu! In 2006, for the very first time in my life, I was introduced to the foundations of breakdancing. It's interesting - I began to express my energy in a less violent and self-damaging way.

Long story short, my dancing lead me to a place of growing pride, arrogance, and selfishness. It affected (a watered down word in my case) my academics, family, and relationships. In November 2009, I remember consciously telling myself that I will stop dancing. For whatever reason, I felt the conviction that God wanted to bless my dancing by surgically removing it. For a long time, I kept running away from opportunities where I could have danced (i.e. practices, shows, or even dance circles at weddings). I ran because I was afraid of pride. And as a continually ran from 'pride,' surprisingly, God revealed to me that pride was STILL my idol. You see, indulging in it AND running away from it symbolized that pride still had control of my life. In scriptures, Jesus never said "money" is evil. It's only when we are controlled by it; which includes loving it... AND fleeing from it.

The heart surgery is simple. God needed to be situated in His rightful first place in my life in order for me to be enabled and empowered to dance! Trust me when I say I still struggle with pride. I am still human, and my spirit is daily in battle against my flesh. There is one passage I am frequently reminded of from Galatians 1:10 - "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ"

From the words of one of my disciples: "Dance to express, not to impress!" From the words of one of the world's greatest inspirators in breakdancing (bboy Cloud): "Don't imitate, originate!" From the words of the greatest influence in my life, God: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men..."

So for those struggling with idols in their lives - be it money, cars, dancing, clothes, pride, or comfort, recognize that gratifying, yielding to, or giving into these idols is not the only problem. Running away from them is also.

"Come-unity"

Community was something I have always yearned for. Growing up, I felt as though I were the only one excluded from community. To my surprise, there are so many people crying out for the same thing. Two forces I now recognize that held me back from community is alienation (loneliness) and fear of rejection. Imagine a teeter-totter. When our souls feel as if its on one side of the teeter-totter such as being alone, we seek for community. However, while being in community, we fear speaking out loud, loving others, and rebuking others because we fear 'rejection'. So we resort to keeping quiet and being alone. Surprise! Surprise! You've flipped the teeter-totter and are now alone and alienated... again.

I have a feeling that this isn't going to be my only post on 'community.' My view on community is definitely no longer the same as it was a year ago. Actually... that's a pretty exciting thing. As society changes, the needs inside communities also changes. But one thing that does not seem to change is that God uses small groups of people to bring people to Him.

There's so many questions, concerns, and skepticism hovering over the concept of a 'small group' community. Does what we want to do as a small group biblical? Or is it cultural? Honestly, if we choose to do things the cultural way, it might work for a while, but I truly believe that God will bless the small group if we choose to do it the biblical way.

Acts 2:42 - "They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

The call for communal action that stood out for me were: devote, teach, break bread, pray, be excited to meet, sell, give, persevere, praise, and multiply. As I read Acts 2, it's so easy for my heart to ache and judge the shortcomings of my small group. However, I believe the Lord does not intend for us to feel that way. I'm not talking about grieving or being in anguish. I'm talking about that feeling that hardens my heart which disallows my spirit's encounter with Kingdom freedom. Despite the hardship and the questionable issues, our Father is continually pouring out blessings upon blessings into small groups. Being so fixated on the little things disallows me to see the greater picture.

I am beginning to notice Christians buying houses/condos further and further away from their church. Not only are they physically moving further away, their hearts are also. It's obvious, the closer people live together, the opportunity for greater intimacy in communal gatherings is greater. I understand it's hard to buy a house that is developed in the city. But the bigger picture is that issues such as listening and accountability are decreasing in communities and physical distance play a role in the dissension.

As mentioned, listening is gradually degrading. When was the last time someone listened to you? I'm not even talking about someone 'physically in your presence' listening. I'm talking about listening to you without distractions with their cellphones (text messages, emails), and psychological questions such as 'I am hungry... when can I go eat?' I'm also talking about the listening where their eyes are listening to you too as supposed to darting all over the place. When was the last time your friend's eyes were fixated on you and the conversation?

Accountability has also lost its influence of healing. What does accountability even mean to people nowadays? I think I have heard people say "I will keep you accountable" more often than seeing it happen. It's kinda like seeing a friend that's fallen into a hole and telling them you'll be back - but you end up not coming back. HAHA... speaking of accountability, one of my disciples recognized the growing belly I am developing. So he mapped out a workout schedule and drafted a commitment contract for me. This is what he said, "Since you're caring for my spiritual health, I'll keep you accountable in your physical health - you scratch mine and I scratch yours. We hold each other accountable." And then he goes into telling me that he'll buy me glucosamine and condriotin pills because he knows I have bad knees. That's crazy awesome.

Hebrews 10:24-25 - "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching"

Working together to meet the needs of people needs to occur first inside and then outside the community. Why does it have to start inside first? DuH...if your community isn't a community, what are you bringing people into? Imagine one heart with many hands. As we connect together more, we become stronger and we bear more fruit. If people leave small group, the small group's strength decreases. As we connect ourselves to the small group, we ourselves become stronger. Unless we assemble, the evil one will pick on us easily. Come... let us continue to pursue after Christ and the unity of believers.

Come-unity.

Serving the needy as serving Christ

As a body of Christ, how do we serve one another? So often, I see pastors overworking themselves for the sake of the congregation and nothing is reciprocated. There's 1 pastor caring for the needs of at least 300. Something seems utterly unfair with that 1:300 ratio. Not only do pastors care for the needs of the congregation of 300, they also need to find ways to 'fundraise' money to support the needs of their family. What would happen if the congregation began to support their pastors? Sorta like, we worry about getting your financial needs met while you worry about pastoring, caring, and bringing people to Christ. Overall, the ratio shouldn't be 1:300 - that's just spiritual suicide for our pastors. A congregational support ratio should be "1".

After service this morning, I texted my 'better half' this text message:

You know why i cried today? It's because i saw how much the Lord loves our city, the world, and the people we are surrounded with. I grieved over the lost, i identified with the hurting, i understood the suffocation experienced by the addicts, and i was just overwhelmed at the same time with joy and peace.

Just wanted to tell u that i see God calling us into something crazy. It'll be an "imprint" (sorta like what Jacob did in Twilight - Breaking Dawn) from God through us onto Toronto communities - LOL! How and where will we go/be? Not sure yet, but there is so many "little things" we can do. We are very very capable people. Together, i promise, we can expand His kingdom.

My visions? It's for our two churches to work together, for our industrial community and neighborhood community to see God's heart for them. It's to see the people we are investing into become future pastors, ministers, evangelists, and prophets. Im excited. Am i tired? Yes... But hopeful.

Here's her response:

You are amazing. Thanks for sharing more ....
Your heart is alive and in tune with the Fathers. So precious and inviting is the call to release kingdom alongside with you as we both tap into greater and fuller measures of holy spirit and his call to even scoop out cup by cup the ocean filled needs of His people.

...Much to pray into :)

I am so blessed to be partnered with someone as crazy as I am. Although we're completely opposite, with God as our third strand, we are experiencing a deeper intimacy of Christ in us that we never thought we'd encounter. I'm tired of coming to church and hearing about how Jesus died for me. I'm tired of coming to church hearing about others dying for their faith. I think it's time that I begin to walk out my faith fearless to death. I need to realize that as I live for my faith, I will die for it. Jesus already demonstrated the way - am I ready? I don't know... we'll see.

Preaching & Rebuking

One of my disciples asked me two loaded questions. These questions brought me back to my thoughts from my old journals when I was wrestling with the same issues. First off, it's inspiring to know that the upcoming generation of youths are already wrestling with these kinds of questions. Second, I am so hopeful that God will mobilize and inspire these young leaders to become the upcoming leaders for our current generation. This blog is simply a snippet of what was shared with my disciple.

How do we preach? And how do we call people out with boldness without fear of condemnation and rejection? First off, preaching is not something we are to do ‘all the time.’ If I had a friend that always ‘preached’ to me whenever we sat down and chatted, I’d be upset. I would probably feel like a ‘mission-field’ as supposed to a friend. So HOW do we preach? Personally… I think there’s many ways to preach. Throughout scriptures, Paul, the prophets, Jesus and the disciples all had a different ‘style’ in preaching (kinda like rappers and breakdancers who have different styles in their respective practices). However, when they preached, what did they speak about? Gospel and Jesus. Furthermore, whenever Jesus preached, he was sensitive to the needs of the crowd. Example, the woman at the well needed water. Jesus preached about Himself being the ‘living water.’ Therefore, when we preach or evangelize at school, work, or at home, we need to know the needs of our peers. Perhaps they are encountering academic depression, financial difficulties, or familial issues. We should speak to these individuals while being filled with the Spirit so that His fruits may be evident over these needs (i.e. peace, patience, kindness, etc etc etc). Perhaps the issue is being sensitive to Holy Spirit. Example, allowing Holy Spirit to convict us as to when we should preach or evangelize?

How do we call people out with boldness? I’m assuming my disciple is asking me, “How do I rebuke in boldness without fear?” Just so you know, I am also struggling with this. I had to dig into my journal and see my old thoughts and revelations on this issue. First off, my disciple is right! When we rebuke, there should be no feelings of fear in offending someone or fear of rejection. From Titus 2:15 – “These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.”

When you call someone out on their sins (i.e. rebuke), you got to ask yourself “why” is the rebuke necessary? Rebuking someone has to be done in an act of caring for them in the hope that they will repent and be strengthened to follow Jesus. Now that I think about it, rebuking is probably one of the most loving and needed things a person can do for another. I think the issue of why so many people fear rebuking is because of the thin line that defines “rebuking” and “judging.”

Note, rebuking is NOT judging. I think that’s a lie that we’ve grown accustomed to. We need to realize that we are called to rebuke when necessary and when we do, we must do so in love and concern for one another. When we see a family member heading to destruction, are we going to sit back and watch? No – that’s just stupid. The sin of omission is like that – sinning by not doing what we should do. Sometimes, however, it is difficult to discern whether we are rebuking in love or judging in pride. I guess the key distinction that separates judging from rebuking is whether or not you want the best for that person and are you doing it out of love. To be honest, I often want to rebuke someone out of anger or hurt – that’s judging. But despite this concern, one thing clear is that rebuking IN LOVE is necessary and commanded. It makes us stronger … or at least it should.

In practical terms, before you call out someone on their sins, first make sure that they actually ‘sinned’ as supposed to doing something you didn’t like. For example, which part of scripture did they break? Remember that passage where Jesus calls us out on worrying about the speck in our brother’s eyes when we have a plank in our own eye? Note, the passage doesn’t tell us NOT to take out the speck in our brother’s eye. It says deal with our OWN sins first. This passage brings something interesting into light. If we do decide not to confront someone on their sin, is it therefore because we do not want to deal with our own sin? I’ve heard people say, “I’ve been through what he or she is going through and I understand what they’re going through so I’m going to let them figure it out on their own" - sin of omission.

Second, as pastor Tim preached, always be ready to give chance after chance after chance. The moment we begin to administer who ‘deserves’ a second chance or who does not, we have elevated ourselves above others. As God’s Word states clearly, we are not to place ourselves above others, but by following Christ’ example, consider others more important than ourselves. Now, this doesn’t mean we are to walk around claiming that others are ‘cool’ and we ‘SUCK!’ We are all under one head – Christ. No one can boast according to his or her own competency. The outcome of rebuking someone is not only repentance, but also restoration into the body of believers.

Third, if the individual you rebuked does not show signs of remorse, do not allow that to affect you. It is vital to know that God is the one who leads people to repentance. We are simply instruments. We cannot rebuke only if we believe we’ll receive a response. We must obey what God convicts and leave the results to Him.

Overall, rebuking is a difficult thing. HAHA It’s easy to say we aren’t supposed to ‘feel’ condemned or rejected when we rebuke someone. But it’s obviously difficult. We need to know who we are and realize how much Daddy loves us. We need to be a people that is sensitive to Holy Spirit and He will give us the necessary words if we need to rebuke.

Harry Potter - Die to self, defeat sin

This is going to be an interesting post. My mind started going on a tangent as I was thinking back to the movie Harry Potter. So, to help illustrate my thoughts, i'll briefly summarize the parts of the movie that stood out, and then reference them to my thoughts :p

Voldemort had placed his soul a number of times inside Horcruxes. This way, Voldemort was able to live 'forever' unless all the Horcruxes were destroyed. Through the course of Harry's lessons, Dumbledore was trying to get the young wizard to piece together different pieces of Tom Riddle's (young Voldemort) memory so that they may identify these Horcruxes as well as where they were hidden. Honestly, all of this information could have just been told to Harry! But no, Dumbledore preferred that Harry realize things slowly. Why? Personally, I think that it has to be Harry's realization; his choice. As Dumbledore says, "it is our choices that show what we truly are." Likewise, there is a huge emphasis on free will in our walk with the Lord. As we are given new life and freedom in the Spirit, we are also given the choice to live by the Spirit. Like the parable of the "lost son" (the more i discuss this parable, the more I'm beginning to believe it was the older son that was "lost"), if we decide to leave God, God lets us leave! But He is always willing, waiting, and yearning for intimacy and celebration with us.

The choice is ours to make - to follow Christ, or to follow our flesh. Following Christ as a disciple is a hard and heavy investment. Jesus even warns us to count the costs before making the decision. Despite the intimidating and heavy investment in kingdom focused labor, the return value for us is going to be amazing!

Why didn't the killing curse work on Harry? Why were some of Voldemort's powers transferred to Harry as a baby? And why did Harry have the ability to see things from Voldemort's perspective? Because Harry Potter himself was a Horcruxe! That got my head flying all over the place. Reminds me of Ephesians 2:1-3 - "As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature (the flesh) and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath."

Sin existed since the time of our birth. Although he wants us separated from God, Satan himself cannot touch us or hurt us. He (satan) can only tempt us with opportunities to follow and gratify the desires of our sinful flesh (i.e. lust, stealing, and the rest of your huge list of human desires). See, Harry couldn't destroy Voldemorte cause he was still a Horcruxe. But when Harry died, Voldemorte lost his power on Harry. The strongholds (Horcruxes) that once surrounded Harry are now destroyed. Voldemorte can now be defeated. As Christians, sin too has lost its power; death has lost its sting. We are freed from the grip of these fleshly desires. From the grave and resurrection of Christ, we too stand victorious.

One of the coolest scenes in the last series of Harry Potter was a conversation after the young wizard died. "Tell me one last thing," said Harry (to Dumbledore). "Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?" "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" After dying to the things that once bound us in chains of fleshly desires, we are always struck with disbelief and repeatedly ask "is this real? Am I truly saved?" Our spiritual sensitivity increases as we continue to remain obedient to Holy Spirit's convictions. Even then, we still ask ourselves "Is this real? Is God REALLY speaking to me?" Through obedience and a continual reliance on His Spirit, we are able to walk into glorious freedom. We don't have to live our lives with Horcruxes (strongholds) surrounding us. See, we can't live a freedom life with the flesh still a part of us. We need to die to our old self, and be made new in Him. This is the power of Christ in me - that through His resurrection, I may now live and destroy the Voldemort in my life.

Past, Present, Shaped

At church on Sunday, I was asked to share my past/present view of 'serving' and how the ministries at my church (Scarborough Community Alliance Church) shaped my walk.

Whenever I think about "serving", I am reminded of a meet I had with my discipleship group. The concept we were discussing was "Servanthood" and how they'd feel if they were a servant. One of my disciples responded saying: "give me a gun and I'll kill myself!" He expressed that being a servant meant low pay, exploitation, and zero freedom. I then asked him, what if your master was perfect? His response changed...

My past view of serving was quite similar to my disciple's. I used to believe that 'serving' meant we are to serve people, church, and fellowships. Don't get me wrong, serving in these areas is a good thing! But if it's your only focus, you will experience burnout and guilt. Furthermore, I realized that over time I was simply serving myself. Example, I used to believe that serving was an obligation. If you don't serve, you will experience guilt. To disallow myself to feel that guilt, I served! HA - SELFISH. I was also good at encouraging people. As I kept giving and giving, I became more empty and dry. Burnout...

My present view of serving is to serve God. It's not until our Lord is in His rightful first place in my life am I able to move beyond the first commandment of loving Him and successfully live out the second greatest commandment of loving [serving] others. Weird... how did I even get to this point in my life? All I remember is that all my sins were laid before me (in 2009) and the feeling I felt was immense brokenness and disgust. However, 'grace' covered me and it was then that I experienced freedom.

Imagine this... I know that some people feel that they need to spend their entire life paying off their mortgage. That feeling must be devastating and hopeless. One of your friends give you $5, and another paid your entire mortgage off and gave you enough money to live sufficiently after. To the first friend, you'd probably take them out for dinner to express your appreciation to them. To the latter, you'll spend your entire life responding to your inner love and appreciation for them.

My hands were involved in situations that bruised and scared many people; my feet brought me and others into many dark places; and my mouth spoke so many discouraging comments to people where I probably I destroyed not only their self esteem, but also their identity. To know that someone paid for my penalties honestly causes me to respond. It'll be inhuman and STUPID to not respond. My body is no longer used to serve myself or others. It's God's. Serving is no longer an obligation - it's a privilege. I no longer serve for my salvation; I serve from salvation.

Five ministries at SCommAC have Shaped my faith walk:

1. More Than Conquerers: This is my small group fellowship. It is a place that allows me to bridge biblical concepts into my daily life. Not only so, it is a platform for me to ask questions such as what does Amen mean? What does Doxology mean? What does being a Man after God's heart mean?
2. Worship Team: Being a part of Dave's team, I realized that the worship team does not point the congregation to the proceeding message or speaker. The worship team's role is to point the congregation to God. As we sing, we sing of His character. Not about the message or speaker.
3. Junior High school Ministry: It was evidential what these youths needed. They needed to experience Jesus. But how could us counselors position them? For whatever reason, we told them to create community and for them to realize the importance of community (i.e. their fellowship). But how? We began to encourage them to just love one another and as they did, by God's grace, community began to form. From this ministry, what I learned was that you don't love community and expect community to form. You love people, and community will form.
4. Ministry of Presence: The pastors at SCommAC reminds me of Batman's Butler, Alfred. Anytime we're confused, broken, shattered, and discouraged, our Pastors are always there. Despite what we do, they are there for us. With all my past craziness, their simple presence spoke a huge message of love in my life.
5. Mentorship: my mentor has definitely introduced me into a new world of being more rational/logical as supposed to emotional. Without a proper balance, I will destroy myself. Furthermore, he has showed me that we fellowship and meet with one another not only when times are good and joyful. We are still there supporting one another even during those discouraging and lonely times.

Since it's thanksgiving soon, the one thing I am thankful for is the community at church. Despite my past, their acceptance of who I am has inspired me to continue to run this race despite how difficult it may be at times. I am a sinner. But when the people you are surrounded with focuses on your potentials and giftings as supposed to your shortcomings, the cultivation of one's gifts begin.

How do you know she's the 'one'?!

"How do you know she's the One?" has been a struggling question I've asked myself over and over again for as long as I acknowledged my hormonal affinity towards females. The question eventually evolved to "How do I know this is the One God wants me to be with?" To be honest, 'till this day, I still can't answer that question. However, what I have discovered is how I know a girl is NOT the one, and who is SUPPOSED to be the One.

Since our early friendship, there was something about Adrienne's prayer life that made her very attractive. As she prayed, I remember yearning to have the same kind of relationship with Jesus that she had. Not only that, but there was something about her prayer life that made her seem alive! From yesterday's sermon by Pastor Brent, he used breathing for humans as a metaphor for prayer for Christians. If humans do not breathe, it means they're dead - duh?! Likewise, the vitality of a Spirit-filled Christian life depends on prayer. I personally want a lifelong partner that is spiritually alive, and their prayer life demonstrates that inner life. So if your potential partner ain't breathing, she ain't living.

The two greatest commandments in scripture is 1) Love God; and 2) Love people (Matthew 22). One morning, I was eating breakfast with my family and my parents both started sharing with me the importance of having Jesus as my 'lightbulb' in my relationship with Adrienne. They explained to me that wherever we go, whatever we do, or whatever we say, make your decisions as if Jesus is right there! That's when it clicked. I answered my parents with a few tears streaming down my eyes, "No... Adrienne is the lightbulb; Jesus is my number One." Loving the Lord first is a practical principle for getting the most of one's life and relationship. It's not until the Lord is in His rightful place can we move beyond the first commandment (Love God) and start successfully living out the second - to love someone else. Furthermore, we can only love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

So lets assume you're reading this post and you have a 'potential' in your life. I think the first question you should ask is "Is she Christian? Does she love the Lord?" I'm not going to beat around the bush on this one, if she's not Christian, and you've made the conscious choice to date this individual, you are 1) sinning; 2) telling her Christians that keep sinning is OK; and 3) there are exceptions to the Bible's teachings and they revolve around your self-desires. Sin is like a good sneeze. It feels good coming out, then you get snot everywhere. If you know you're sinning, confess, and stop it. God wants to bless you. But He won't bless your sin.

Trust Him to get you where you need to be - and to help you recover if something does go wrong. Like I stated earlier, I do not have the answers on 'How do you know...' But there are a few practical observations I made myself attune to in determining my 'potential' as my 'number Two'.

• Who does my 'potential' hangout with? Does she spend time with spiritual women? Or does she hang out with crowds of people that could potentially become a negative influence in our relationship?
• Friendship first. Establish the way you'd like to communicate. See one another's characteristic outside of the church setting such as in the home, groups of friends, bars, school, etc.
• Is this person becoming more like Christ?
• Is this person responsible financially, relationally, emotionally, intellectually?
• Are both your attraction towards one another increasing? One huge lesson I learned is that it's not unspiritual to be drawn physically and emotionally to someone. What can I say, God blessed me with a beautiful partner! WOOHOO!!
• Are you two helping each other grow closer to God, rather than drawing each other away from Him?
• Is God central in this relationship?

As I reread this list of things I observe in my partner, some may feel this is tedious or unnecessary. If you read the Bible, the role of the man is to love their wife the way Christ loved the church and died for her. Don't treat your partner seriously only when you are dating. Be serious even in the discerning process of who your Number Two is because how you search reflects who your Number One is.

Dissension - Personal Reflection

1 Corinthians 12:27 "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it."

I've been struggling with this passage the entire week. The disconnect I feel with certain individuals in our congregation is so intense that the cloud of dissension seems to have thickened into a brick wall. I don't even know how to blog/journal about this...

It saddens and angers me:

• To see old friends drift away
• To feel betrayed by old friends
• To feel replaceable
• To feel as though their judgement comes before my character
• To feel insecure and unsafe around these friends
• To feel as though they don't care about my well being

See, I know I am supposed to love these individuals. But 'HOW'? I feel like they don't even know/see the transformed me. Actually... I don't even think they care. All they hear are hate and flaws of me from an individual with a perspective that doesn't care about the growth of the church body. How can people become so insensitive? There's two sides of a story.

Evangelism is great. Reaching out to the lost and the unchurch is a calling - praise God if you feel as though you are living out the call. However, how can you reach out to others when the message of the Gospel hasn't even become personal to yourself? What Gospel are you actually sharing then?! I am stating this not to condemn or point fingers at anyone. I am grieving as I write this.

I agree... we must live out what we say which will lead us to speak of the Gospel only when necessary. But that requires one to recognize that Jesus is their LORD as well as Savior. So many Christians focus ONLY on Jesus being our 'Savior' and place very little emphasis on the concept of Jesus as our Lord. Why? Simple... you're not willing to make Him Lord of your life. 'Savior' simply sounds better - it allows you to continue with your daily lust for complacency and worldly wealth. But if Jesus is ones Lord, they will sell all their goods (spiritually and physically) to follow Him like a living sacrifice.

Father, forgive me if I write this blog in anger. Receive this post as my prayer unto you.

300 - Defend one another

So I just came out of an exam and I'm on the move to study for my next one. At 8:22AM this morning, I received a text from a dear brother. This is what he said:

Hey guys, Since Gabe is going into an exam today I figured I'd send out a thing in case he doesn't get to it. One of my favorite passages that I know is relevant to at least 2 of us right now: Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV) The Armor of God:

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

- Your BIC, J Chow

WOW! I was super humbled by this act of partnership. As I read this text, I was deeply reminded of the movie 300. There was one scene where the king of Spartan, Leonidas, told the deformed creature, Ephialtes, that it could not fight with them because it couldn't hold up a shield. This is what the King said: "A Spartan warrior fights not only to defend himself, but the man fighting beside him. He protects his friend from neck to thigh [with this shield]. I am sorry, but I cannot have you fight with us."

We are called to put on the FULL armor of God – not only the parts we think are cool. Personally… I hate wearing helmets -_-“ Furthermore, I know a lot of brothers and sisters want to “help” other Christians out. But we simply cannot be responsible in lifting another individual’s faith (i.e. the shield). If they aren’t willing to do so, Paul in 2 Corinthians made it clear that we should not be equally yoked with them. We need to know the type of enemy we have. He is an individual that prowls around like a hungry lion ready to devour ANYONE. We need to be properly armored and ready to defend our team.

Xerxes: It isn't wise to stand against me, Leonidas. Imagine what horrible fate awaits my enemies when I would gladly kill any of my own men for victory.

King Leonidas: And I would die for any one of mine.

Matthew 12:20

SMS on April 8, 2011

"A bruised reed He will not break, a smoldering wick He will not snuff out, till He leads justice to victory."

I decided to spend the day in meditation. I went to Bruce Mill park to walk along their trails and I stopped at a ravine. I sat and rested. I saw a beaver for the first time, and a couple of weird colored birds - they're actually pretty cool. I also noticed that the ravine was surrounded with reeds. And that's when I was reminded of Matthew 12:20. What did Jesus mean when He said "A bruised reed He will not break...?"

Perhaps a little irrational, I climbed down and walked over to these reeds and to my surprise, these grass looking sticks were TWO TIMES my height (don't make assumptions! HA I'm not THAT short - 5"9). However, the reeds that were bent were no taller than my knees. That's when I began to tear. Ok... fine... I began to BAWL. I felt like the bruised reed - intimidated and overwhelmed by the surrounding giants of the other reeds.

As I made my way back to where I originally sat, I began to question why did Jesus say: "...until He leads justice to victory?" When that happens, will He break the bruised reed and snuff out the smoldering wick? No... When justice is led to victory, He will heal the bruised reed and smoldering wick. WOW! It's so interesting how easy it was for me to think of the worse case scenario. His gospel and love is victorious, and it is in us. We are no longer a bruised reed or a smoldering wick.

2 Corinthians 6:16

SMS on April 18, 2011

"as God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.""

So often, we (especially me) feel so alone in this world. But the Lord promises a relationship not of distance, but of intimacy. Whenever we use the word "I" or "mine", we are making a claim of ownership. Imagine my parents saying to me, "you are Gabe" versus "you are my son." There's power and a sense of belonging in the latter statement!

Do we feel that belonging and intimacy with God? Do we even know how He calls us or what our worth is to Him?

2 Corinthians 6:1

SMS on Thursday, April 14, 2011

"As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain."

My head is flying all over the place from reading this ONE verse. From this passage, we see that even God's workers can be in vain - CRAZY! We know that grace is offered freely and fully. But just simply receiving it (i.e. hearing it in service or in small group) brings about a slippery slope that leads you to be in vain. What is vain? Excessively proud of or concerned about your own appearance, qualities, achievements or position. It is the attitude of a FOOL. When you receive God's grace (imagine medicine from a doctor), it needs to be applied and taken in. You can't walk around with a pill in hand boasting about it and still be sick - HA FOOL! So don't just receive His grace (our medication) and not apply it to your life. It needs to be taken in, embraced, and applied.

2 Corinthians 5:7

SMS on April 11, 2011

"We live by faith, not by sight."

So often times, we desire to know what is to happen. We want to physically see the job openings, see our family love one another, see the pay cheque, and see people do do do (especially at church). But we are called to place our faith and trust in the Lord that He will provide the job even if there's no opening visibly seen, He will transform our family even if they don't physically show it, and He will provide for tomorrow even if the cheque doesn't come in. Not saying we should just be ignorant and not labor in love for His kingdom. But we need to trust that in His perfect timing, He will provide one way or another. His plans are perfect and surpasses all our understandings of "enough."

2 Corinthians 3:18

SMS on April 7, 2011

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

I love this passage. My sister small group's name - Transformers, is based off of this verse. In the old testament, no one could look at the radiance of glory directly. Moses had to put a veil over his face when he delivered God's commands to the Israelites. Why? Don't know... perhaps he was too bright and it was difficult to focus on what he wanted to say - HA! But due to the new covenant in Jesus Christ, we reflect (well... we SHOULD reflect) His glory. Therefore famo, make no attempt to conceal anything in regards to the nature, design, and the awesomeness of the gospel. Unveil your face!

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

SMS on April 5, 2011

"...the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

Pretty self explanatory! We are blessed (i.e. comforted) so that we can bless others (i.e. comfort others). Our comfort or our blessings are not for us to keep... it's for others.

1 Corinthians 16:10

SMS on April 4, 2011

"If Timothy comes, see to it that he has nothing to fear while he is with you, for he is carrying on the work of the Lord, just as I am."

The community in Corinth was told by Paul in this letter to ensure that Timmy has nothing to fear while he is with them. Growing up with such a dirty past, I always walked into my church feeling as if I were the only sinner. Everyone around me looked soo squeeky clean it made my dirt look so much more apparent. In what way, family, are we disallowing fear to surface in our brothers and sisters? How are we welcoming each other in peace and love? I am not telling you to flaunt your dirt - HA! What I am encouraging you to do is love and accept one another and share with one another even in your suffering and brokenness because it is then that our Lord's power is made perfect.

1 Corinthians 15:37-38

SMS on March 30, 2011

"When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be... God gives it a body as he has determined..."

When I read this, immediately I remembered all those times I sowed a particular way to form a certain outcome. Example, I didn't like the way I talked and served at church. So I dealt with it my way by talking in a way I thought was more "spiritual", and served the way I believed ministries should be. Overtime, I realized how all of that needed to be put to death. He doesn't need us to talk a certain way or serve - He wants us (all of it). And as our meager attempts are put to death, He raises us up and with new bodies, we WILL talk and serve differently in Him.

This morning's read was not one to discourage us to serve, but is one to remind ourselves that we are only background instruments.

1 Corinthians 12:17

SMS on Friday, March 25, 2011

"If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If they whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?"

I always skimmed through this verse cause the verses leading up to 17 seemed pretty self explanatory! But I believe Paul is putting an emphasis on the individual Christian that has given themselves up to loneliness. We were all made to be in community (the body). Does it make sense to claim yourself as a community (a body) if you are alone? No...

So family, as tempting as it may be sometimes to claim that no one understands you and that you deserve to be alone, realize that statement is absurd. An eye is simply not a body/community on its own.

CLIU - Christ Lives in U

Christ Lives in U (CLIU) is a promise that sadly not many believers recognize. For the past month, God has convicted me to encourage brothers and sisters I have been blessed to journey alongside with a simple daily reminder. The task is simple - encourage a group of Christian brothers and sisters early in the day with the Word and encourage them to continue to pass it on by sending their devotion (or mine) to another either by SMS text or email. The vision is that of a mustard seed (Matthew 13:31). As we begin to share the things of the kingdom, great effects will happen in this world.