How do you know she's the 'one'?!

"How do you know she's the One?" has been a struggling question I've asked myself over and over again for as long as I acknowledged my hormonal affinity towards females. The question eventually evolved to "How do I know this is the One God wants me to be with?" To be honest, 'till this day, I still can't answer that question. However, what I have discovered is how I know a girl is NOT the one, and who is SUPPOSED to be the One.

Since our early friendship, there was something about Adrienne's prayer life that made her very attractive. As she prayed, I remember yearning to have the same kind of relationship with Jesus that she had. Not only that, but there was something about her prayer life that made her seem alive! From yesterday's sermon by Pastor Brent, he used breathing for humans as a metaphor for prayer for Christians. If humans do not breathe, it means they're dead - duh?! Likewise, the vitality of a Spirit-filled Christian life depends on prayer. I personally want a lifelong partner that is spiritually alive, and their prayer life demonstrates that inner life. So if your potential partner ain't breathing, she ain't living.

The two greatest commandments in scripture is 1) Love God; and 2) Love people (Matthew 22). One morning, I was eating breakfast with my family and my parents both started sharing with me the importance of having Jesus as my 'lightbulb' in my relationship with Adrienne. They explained to me that wherever we go, whatever we do, or whatever we say, make your decisions as if Jesus is right there! That's when it clicked. I answered my parents with a few tears streaming down my eyes, "No... Adrienne is the lightbulb; Jesus is my number One." Loving the Lord first is a practical principle for getting the most of one's life and relationship. It's not until the Lord is in His rightful place can we move beyond the first commandment (Love God) and start successfully living out the second - to love someone else. Furthermore, we can only love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

So lets assume you're reading this post and you have a 'potential' in your life. I think the first question you should ask is "Is she Christian? Does she love the Lord?" I'm not going to beat around the bush on this one, if she's not Christian, and you've made the conscious choice to date this individual, you are 1) sinning; 2) telling her Christians that keep sinning is OK; and 3) there are exceptions to the Bible's teachings and they revolve around your self-desires. Sin is like a good sneeze. It feels good coming out, then you get snot everywhere. If you know you're sinning, confess, and stop it. God wants to bless you. But He won't bless your sin.

Trust Him to get you where you need to be - and to help you recover if something does go wrong. Like I stated earlier, I do not have the answers on 'How do you know...' But there are a few practical observations I made myself attune to in determining my 'potential' as my 'number Two'.

• Who does my 'potential' hangout with? Does she spend time with spiritual women? Or does she hang out with crowds of people that could potentially become a negative influence in our relationship?
• Friendship first. Establish the way you'd like to communicate. See one another's characteristic outside of the church setting such as in the home, groups of friends, bars, school, etc.
• Is this person becoming more like Christ?
• Is this person responsible financially, relationally, emotionally, intellectually?
• Are both your attraction towards one another increasing? One huge lesson I learned is that it's not unspiritual to be drawn physically and emotionally to someone. What can I say, God blessed me with a beautiful partner! WOOHOO!!
• Are you two helping each other grow closer to God, rather than drawing each other away from Him?
• Is God central in this relationship?

As I reread this list of things I observe in my partner, some may feel this is tedious or unnecessary. If you read the Bible, the role of the man is to love their wife the way Christ loved the church and died for her. Don't treat your partner seriously only when you are dating. Be serious even in the discerning process of who your Number Two is because how you search reflects who your Number One is.

Dissension - Personal Reflection

1 Corinthians 12:27 "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it."

I've been struggling with this passage the entire week. The disconnect I feel with certain individuals in our congregation is so intense that the cloud of dissension seems to have thickened into a brick wall. I don't even know how to blog/journal about this...

It saddens and angers me:

• To see old friends drift away
• To feel betrayed by old friends
• To feel replaceable
• To feel as though their judgement comes before my character
• To feel insecure and unsafe around these friends
• To feel as though they don't care about my well being

See, I know I am supposed to love these individuals. But 'HOW'? I feel like they don't even know/see the transformed me. Actually... I don't even think they care. All they hear are hate and flaws of me from an individual with a perspective that doesn't care about the growth of the church body. How can people become so insensitive? There's two sides of a story.

Evangelism is great. Reaching out to the lost and the unchurch is a calling - praise God if you feel as though you are living out the call. However, how can you reach out to others when the message of the Gospel hasn't even become personal to yourself? What Gospel are you actually sharing then?! I am stating this not to condemn or point fingers at anyone. I am grieving as I write this.

I agree... we must live out what we say which will lead us to speak of the Gospel only when necessary. But that requires one to recognize that Jesus is their LORD as well as Savior. So many Christians focus ONLY on Jesus being our 'Savior' and place very little emphasis on the concept of Jesus as our Lord. Why? Simple... you're not willing to make Him Lord of your life. 'Savior' simply sounds better - it allows you to continue with your daily lust for complacency and worldly wealth. But if Jesus is ones Lord, they will sell all their goods (spiritually and physically) to follow Him like a living sacrifice.

Father, forgive me if I write this blog in anger. Receive this post as my prayer unto you.

300 - Defend one another

So I just came out of an exam and I'm on the move to study for my next one. At 8:22AM this morning, I received a text from a dear brother. This is what he said:

Hey guys, Since Gabe is going into an exam today I figured I'd send out a thing in case he doesn't get to it. One of my favorite passages that I know is relevant to at least 2 of us right now: Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV) The Armor of God:

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

- Your BIC, J Chow

WOW! I was super humbled by this act of partnership. As I read this text, I was deeply reminded of the movie 300. There was one scene where the king of Spartan, Leonidas, told the deformed creature, Ephialtes, that it could not fight with them because it couldn't hold up a shield. This is what the King said: "A Spartan warrior fights not only to defend himself, but the man fighting beside him. He protects his friend from neck to thigh [with this shield]. I am sorry, but I cannot have you fight with us."

We are called to put on the FULL armor of God – not only the parts we think are cool. Personally… I hate wearing helmets -_-“ Furthermore, I know a lot of brothers and sisters want to “help” other Christians out. But we simply cannot be responsible in lifting another individual’s faith (i.e. the shield). If they aren’t willing to do so, Paul in 2 Corinthians made it clear that we should not be equally yoked with them. We need to know the type of enemy we have. He is an individual that prowls around like a hungry lion ready to devour ANYONE. We need to be properly armored and ready to defend our team.

Xerxes: It isn't wise to stand against me, Leonidas. Imagine what horrible fate awaits my enemies when I would gladly kill any of my own men for victory.

King Leonidas: And I would die for any one of mine.

Matthew 12:20

SMS on April 8, 2011

"A bruised reed He will not break, a smoldering wick He will not snuff out, till He leads justice to victory."

I decided to spend the day in meditation. I went to Bruce Mill park to walk along their trails and I stopped at a ravine. I sat and rested. I saw a beaver for the first time, and a couple of weird colored birds - they're actually pretty cool. I also noticed that the ravine was surrounded with reeds. And that's when I was reminded of Matthew 12:20. What did Jesus mean when He said "A bruised reed He will not break...?"

Perhaps a little irrational, I climbed down and walked over to these reeds and to my surprise, these grass looking sticks were TWO TIMES my height (don't make assumptions! HA I'm not THAT short - 5"9). However, the reeds that were bent were no taller than my knees. That's when I began to tear. Ok... fine... I began to BAWL. I felt like the bruised reed - intimidated and overwhelmed by the surrounding giants of the other reeds.

As I made my way back to where I originally sat, I began to question why did Jesus say: "...until He leads justice to victory?" When that happens, will He break the bruised reed and snuff out the smoldering wick? No... When justice is led to victory, He will heal the bruised reed and smoldering wick. WOW! It's so interesting how easy it was for me to think of the worse case scenario. His gospel and love is victorious, and it is in us. We are no longer a bruised reed or a smoldering wick.

2 Corinthians 6:16

SMS on April 18, 2011

"as God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.""

So often, we (especially me) feel so alone in this world. But the Lord promises a relationship not of distance, but of intimacy. Whenever we use the word "I" or "mine", we are making a claim of ownership. Imagine my parents saying to me, "you are Gabe" versus "you are my son." There's power and a sense of belonging in the latter statement!

Do we feel that belonging and intimacy with God? Do we even know how He calls us or what our worth is to Him?

2 Corinthians 6:1

SMS on Thursday, April 14, 2011

"As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain."

My head is flying all over the place from reading this ONE verse. From this passage, we see that even God's workers can be in vain - CRAZY! We know that grace is offered freely and fully. But just simply receiving it (i.e. hearing it in service or in small group) brings about a slippery slope that leads you to be in vain. What is vain? Excessively proud of or concerned about your own appearance, qualities, achievements or position. It is the attitude of a FOOL. When you receive God's grace (imagine medicine from a doctor), it needs to be applied and taken in. You can't walk around with a pill in hand boasting about it and still be sick - HA FOOL! So don't just receive His grace (our medication) and not apply it to your life. It needs to be taken in, embraced, and applied.

2 Corinthians 5:7

SMS on April 11, 2011

"We live by faith, not by sight."

So often times, we desire to know what is to happen. We want to physically see the job openings, see our family love one another, see the pay cheque, and see people do do do (especially at church). But we are called to place our faith and trust in the Lord that He will provide the job even if there's no opening visibly seen, He will transform our family even if they don't physically show it, and He will provide for tomorrow even if the cheque doesn't come in. Not saying we should just be ignorant and not labor in love for His kingdom. But we need to trust that in His perfect timing, He will provide one way or another. His plans are perfect and surpasses all our understandings of "enough."

2 Corinthians 3:18

SMS on April 7, 2011

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

I love this passage. My sister small group's name - Transformers, is based off of this verse. In the old testament, no one could look at the radiance of glory directly. Moses had to put a veil over his face when he delivered God's commands to the Israelites. Why? Don't know... perhaps he was too bright and it was difficult to focus on what he wanted to say - HA! But due to the new covenant in Jesus Christ, we reflect (well... we SHOULD reflect) His glory. Therefore famo, make no attempt to conceal anything in regards to the nature, design, and the awesomeness of the gospel. Unveil your face!

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

SMS on April 5, 2011

"...the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

Pretty self explanatory! We are blessed (i.e. comforted) so that we can bless others (i.e. comfort others). Our comfort or our blessings are not for us to keep... it's for others.

1 Corinthians 16:10

SMS on April 4, 2011

"If Timothy comes, see to it that he has nothing to fear while he is with you, for he is carrying on the work of the Lord, just as I am."

The community in Corinth was told by Paul in this letter to ensure that Timmy has nothing to fear while he is with them. Growing up with such a dirty past, I always walked into my church feeling as if I were the only sinner. Everyone around me looked soo squeeky clean it made my dirt look so much more apparent. In what way, family, are we disallowing fear to surface in our brothers and sisters? How are we welcoming each other in peace and love? I am not telling you to flaunt your dirt - HA! What I am encouraging you to do is love and accept one another and share with one another even in your suffering and brokenness because it is then that our Lord's power is made perfect.

1 Corinthians 15:37-38

SMS on March 30, 2011

"When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be... God gives it a body as he has determined..."

When I read this, immediately I remembered all those times I sowed a particular way to form a certain outcome. Example, I didn't like the way I talked and served at church. So I dealt with it my way by talking in a way I thought was more "spiritual", and served the way I believed ministries should be. Overtime, I realized how all of that needed to be put to death. He doesn't need us to talk a certain way or serve - He wants us (all of it). And as our meager attempts are put to death, He raises us up and with new bodies, we WILL talk and serve differently in Him.

This morning's read was not one to discourage us to serve, but is one to remind ourselves that we are only background instruments.

1 Corinthians 12:17

SMS on Friday, March 25, 2011

"If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If they whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?"

I always skimmed through this verse cause the verses leading up to 17 seemed pretty self explanatory! But I believe Paul is putting an emphasis on the individual Christian that has given themselves up to loneliness. We were all made to be in community (the body). Does it make sense to claim yourself as a community (a body) if you are alone? No...

So family, as tempting as it may be sometimes to claim that no one understands you and that you deserve to be alone, realize that statement is absurd. An eye is simply not a body/community on its own.

CLIU - Christ Lives in U

Christ Lives in U (CLIU) is a promise that sadly not many believers recognize. For the past month, God has convicted me to encourage brothers and sisters I have been blessed to journey alongside with a simple daily reminder. The task is simple - encourage a group of Christian brothers and sisters early in the day with the Word and encourage them to continue to pass it on by sending their devotion (or mine) to another either by SMS text or email. The vision is that of a mustard seed (Matthew 13:31). As we begin to share the things of the kingdom, great effects will happen in this world.