Fast and Furious

Note: this post has NOTHING to do with the movie. lol

My family and Derek (who's pretty much a part of my family) went on a trip to Niagara Falls. My sister, Derek and I were looking for some desert on Clifton Hill. We walked by an individual asking for money (I don't want to label him 'homeless' cause that's just an automatic assumption) and noticed that the guy had no legs, and his only form of mobility was his wheel chair. At the desert place, Derek came up to me and asked if it was OK if he gave that guy our take-out food from TGI Friday. Mind you, we had ribs, fries and a salad in that take-out box! Furthermore, we were STILL HUNGRY! I encouraged Derek to follow his convictions and he then ran across the road and disappeared around the corner with the box of food in hand. He came back a minute later and expressed to me this strange joy that flooded through him. We were no longer hungry.

This incident reminded me of the biblical practice of 'fasting.' I remember believing that 'fasting' was simply the abstinence of food. It IS that, but MORE! Fasting isn't only abstaining from food, it's also about being fed continually by the bread of life - His Word! I can't explain this phenomenon, but the last time I fasted, I abstained from food for an entire week. However, I was utterly full and dependent on meditating on His Word and prayer. It's crazy, the more we eat in this world, the fuller we get. But the more we eat of His words, the more hungrier we get. And believe me, the Lord does not allow us to grow hungry if we are truly hungering for His Words.

Thinking back to Derek's incident, his simple hunger to accept the challenges of scripture only lead him to express a furious love that this world rarely encounters. My hope is that as my disciples bask into the Father's Words, they become beacons of His furious love for the community around us.

Slow traffic keep left

As I merged onto the passing lane on the highway, I found myself going at 90 km/h behind a car. There were no cars in front of this car and all the other cars in the middle and slow lane were going at the same speed! My patience was totally being tested, and these were my thoughts (lol):

In our 'spiritual highway', there SEEMS to be three lanes (when there's really only two). A slow lane for those Christians that just want to live the life. These are the ones that have no sense of urgency or excitement to reach the destination. These are the Christians that feel as though they have all the time in the world.

The middle lane are for those Christians we call 'lukewarm.' They want to ensure that they can choose either lane whenever they want - to pass or not to pass! These are the Christians that are indecisive or too scared to accelerate to their destination. They realize they should drive faster, but they don't want to go all in.

The fast lane are those Christians we label as 'radical'. These are the Christians that are full out; all for Jesus, Christians. They are the ones that seem to always be in the hurry and they're always up and about with our Father's business. These are the Christians that probably struggle with the concept of 'rest' or 'sabbath' because they're always in a hurry.

When I drove behind that car, I was pretty frustrated. I felt as if this slow driver represented those Christians that slow us down in our kingdom labor. How dare they stand between me and my Father's business! Bahaha...!!

LOL... When I got to my destination, I realized how I just compromised my impatience. It was interesting how easy it was to make my impatience seem 'OK.' Obviously it isn't OK. I just thought it was interesting how I referenced it to a Christian's journey with Christ. The Gospel tells us to love those of low positions, and to consider others better than ourselves. Gosh... Jesus even told us to SERVE THEM -_-" In Romans 12:16, it says "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position (even slow drivers. Do not be conceited."

LOL ... Adrienne and I just found it funny how I tried making sense of my frustration with the slow driver on the passing lane in front of me!

Pause before the new year

For whatever reason, I've been feeling convicted about the relationship between a [spiritual] race and mentorship. What does 'rest' look like? How are my disciples running? When I ponder over 'how they are running', I am not wondering how many ministries are they serving in or how often do they go to church or how "spiritual" do they sound? I'm essentially praying over their spiritual stamina, fitness, and ability in the race marked out for them.

I was talking to my girlfriend about my thoughts and it's just beautiful how she allows our Father's heart to pour into mine. Through conversations and prayer, I felt convicted to hold off meeting with my mentees until 2012. I believe the remainder of this 2011 year should be spent in prayer. Some of these guys just need to 'rest' and to be 'prayerful'. If a mentor produces disciples that do not pray and does not rest, then there's a problem! LOL I'm essentially creating machines. And if disciples do not pray... are they really disciples?

Furthermore, why is it that my guys could abstain from a majority of all the ten commandments except one - "keep the sabbath day Holy." Now, I am not bashing on my guys. I too fall short in resting! To be renewed, one needs to rest; and renewal is a daily thing. You don't pray, read the bible, talk godly, or have fellowship once every two weeks at mentorship. It has to be a daily exercise (keeping in line with increasing our spiritual stamina and workout). Some people think that 'resting' means to sit as a spectator in a race; others think that rest means to slow down in the race. I read this passage in Hebrews 12:1 yesterday in small group. It says: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us..." The goal is Christ. To run is Christ. To die is to gain. The moment we feel like sitting as a spectator is the moment the enemy has won. The moment we feel like slowing down is the moment we loss our sense of eagerness with the Lord. So no... resting is not slowing down or sitting aside in the race marked out for us. Resting allows us to focus clearer at the end goal as He graciously imparts His mysterious will, compassion, power and vision upon us. Resting allows us to taste a piece of His heart for us! Wow - isn't that amazing?! Now wouldn't that make us want to run supernaturally faster?! As we rest, we receive His great love for us as supposed to be working so hard that we forget to receive. Rest isn't a physical thing where we do nothing or stop running. Sabbath is a sabbath of the heart.

So the group is just going to do our own thing, and if that means hanging out with one another - kekeke - COOL! And if that means hanging out without talking about Jesus, so be it. But to be honest, my favorite conversational topic is about Jesus. But I am opened to essentially anything :p Perhaps the rest of this month could be used to build what we might have lost focus on - to build relationships with one another. Now, taking a break from mentorship does not mean we're doing nothing. I said go be prayerful. Honestly, if we can't even be prayerful when we DON'T meet, how are we trusting God in any of this? So for the next few weeks where me and the guys hang out, we probably won't be doing what we usually do. We'll probably just hang out and just pray.

Overall, prayer expresses the vitality of a disciple. My hope is that we may be more prayerful and less conversational with one another. Coming together to share our life issues and struggles is an awesome and well needed thing. In the end, we need to recognize that our life issues should not be submitted to one another, but to God.

Part 1 - the Nerd

http://vimeo.com/33261203

The crew was bored and so we decided to make a random video. On January 22, 2007, (in order of appearance) Derek, Anton, Heat, and Jeremy, decided to create a comedic video series of how an invincible bully 'became' a bully.

This is Part 1. The protagonist (the giddy nerd) came to school to find himself being bullied by three high school jocks. To their surprise, the nerd utilized their 'method' of bullying against them! In later series, we will show how this victory actually destroyed the innocence from this nerd as he himself became the invincible bully.

Generally, we experience the same thing in life - 'we do to others what others have done to us.' The video is not supposed to encourage school bullying, but to make us aware that our actions has great effects that may or may not affect us in the future.

Videography: Gabe
Songs: riding dirty and i'm yours

I Will Rise

I Will Rise - Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know

Though my heart and flesh may fail

There's an anchor for my soul

I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name

No more sorrow, no more pain

I will rise on eagles' wings

Before my God fall on my knees

And rise

I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near

When this darkness breaks to light

And the shadows disappear

And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the dead

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,

"Worthy is the Lamb"

And I hear the cry of every longing heart,

"Worthy is the Lamb"

Haven't been feeling like myself lately. Bombarded with school, thoughts, desires, and financial issues. The heaviness on my heart just keeps increasing and increasing. I feel as though the scabs on my [spiritual] body I thought were considered healed are currently being picked at by God. I just feel Him peeling up the scabs and gently dabbing the wound with disinfectant. I guess my old wounds haven't healed properly.

This is one of the songs that reassures me of my Fathers love for me. Indeed there is peace as I come to know who He is. Regardless of the storm around me, I will not be abound from side to side because He is my anchor. When He leads me through hardship, it is not so that I may experience harm, but to experience hope. When He disciplines me, it is never to make me feel foolish, but to free me from the consequences of my foolishness. He never acts out of frustration or irritation, but always in love and great affection for me.

This song reminds me of Hebrews 2:14-18 "Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham’s descendants. For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."

My God is not a god that is distant, but is with me. He is not a God that tells me how to be freed from suffering, but suffered for me so that I may be freed from suffering. He died so that we may live. My God experienced what I experience. He is a relational God - not one that is distant. There are so many things that occurred in my life that I have no idea as to why they had to happen. But in the end, it is such a powerful hope that one day, my faith shall be my eyes. It will no longer be me, but Him. No longer my desires, but His. Not my will, but His will.

Oh Father, mold me and make me to become more and more like You. As You have risen, I too want to rise...

Spider Man vs Pride

A friend of mine (batman), since the first day we met, equated my life to Spiderman. God blessed me with a special ability such as breakdancing. Likewise, Peter Parker was blessed with an ability Uncle Ben labelled as 'power' - with great power comes great responsibility. Similar to Parker, I used my power/ability to serve selfish ambitions. We both needed to loss friends, family, and opportunities to show us our internal demons. Sadly, learning the same things over and over again is the life-story for almost all people. In the Old Testament, after experiencing extreme supernatural events such as passing through the Red Sea, the Israelites began to doubt God three days after the crossing! After experiencing a near death situation where my car spun off the road and into a bus shelter, I obtained no cuts or bruises. The aftermath of the accident was that the entire driver side of the car was completely wedged in, glass was cracked everywhere, the bus sheltered tipped over, and a recycling bin flew into a plaza parking lot. Mind you... I was driving with no seatbelt. But the one thing I do remember is feeling as if I were wearing a seatbelt. Almost like a hand pushing against my chest preventing me from smashing my head against the window. The Israelites forgot God in three days. I forgot Him on the same day *sigh*. The apostle Peter walked alongside with Jesus and heard His teachings on love. Years later, he needed to be rebuked by Paul for his selective love against the Gentiles. I grew up in a Christian family. But I lived my entire life as if I had no family.

From my previous post, I talked briefly of what breakdancing did to my life. In brief, the gifted ability to dance in such a way was clouded by my own 'Venom' called pride. It destroyed parts of my life such as relationships and family. However, in November 2009, after seeing the carnage I did with the lives I was surrounded with, I surrendered to no other than God. I remember telling myself I didn't want to live with the guilt I carried everyday. I was ashamed and disgusted of the sins I had committed before God and people. I guess I found something worse than dying - to die in guilt. Urbana 2009 was my first encounter with the Lord. I saw before me a sea filled with my sins and the blood of my Lord and Savior covered it all. In 2:01 of the Spiderman Trailer, it shows a quick clip of Parker's struggle in peeling off the Venom that kept him enveloped. All this was done as the church bell rang! Here's another clip: bell scene (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjuEtEjeMSo). The scene reminds me of my struggling decision to be freed from the bondage of my past and flesh by allowing God to take president in my life.

See, it's easy to say "I believe in God." The difficultly I experienced is letting Him "lead" my life. What I did not realize before until now is that if I did not allow Him to lead my life, Venom was.