Floodgatez trailer (looking back...moving forward)

So why did I decide to title this: "Looking back...moving forward?" Breakdancing was a huge thing in my life. In brief, my highschool was a dark time. I was a passionate kid, but with no direction. I strived for excellence in whatever I got myself into - even 'bad' stuff. In grade 12, a saw a group of breakdancers dancing inside a circle (cypher) and a girl asked me, "can you do that?" I remember saying 'yes' just to show off! But I was completely dumbfounded at the energy people were expressing in their dance.

I started doing handstands, coffee grinders, and simple power moves (i.e. swipes, crickets) from the end of 2003 to 2006. During that time, my family couldn't afford the Internet, and we were still using floppy discs (CD burners JUST came out when I was in grade 12). I remember copying the moves from these animated GIF characters of Street Fighter's Ken and Ryu! In 2006, for the very first time in my life, I was introduced to the foundations of breakdancing. It's interesting - I began to express my energy in a less violent and self-damaging way.

Long story short, my dancing lead me to a place of growing pride, arrogance, and selfishness. It affected (a watered down word in my case) my academics, family, and relationships. In November 2009, I remember consciously telling myself that I will stop dancing. For whatever reason, I felt the conviction that God wanted to bless my dancing by surgically removing it. For a long time, I kept running away from opportunities where I could have danced (i.e. practices, shows, or even dance circles at weddings). I ran because I was afraid of pride. And as a continually ran from 'pride,' surprisingly, God revealed to me that pride was STILL my idol. You see, indulging in it AND running away from it symbolized that pride still had control of my life. In scriptures, Jesus never said "money" is evil. It's only when we are controlled by it; which includes loving it... AND fleeing from it.

The heart surgery is simple. God needed to be situated in His rightful first place in my life in order for me to be enabled and empowered to dance! Trust me when I say I still struggle with pride. I am still human, and my spirit is daily in battle against my flesh. There is one passage I am frequently reminded of from Galatians 1:10 - "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ"

From the words of one of my disciples: "Dance to express, not to impress!" From the words of one of the world's greatest inspirators in breakdancing (bboy Cloud): "Don't imitate, originate!" From the words of the greatest influence in my life, God: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men..."

So for those struggling with idols in their lives - be it money, cars, dancing, clothes, pride, or comfort, recognize that gratifying, yielding to, or giving into these idols is not the only problem. Running away from them is also.

"Come-unity"

Community was something I have always yearned for. Growing up, I felt as though I were the only one excluded from community. To my surprise, there are so many people crying out for the same thing. Two forces I now recognize that held me back from community is alienation (loneliness) and fear of rejection. Imagine a teeter-totter. When our souls feel as if its on one side of the teeter-totter such as being alone, we seek for community. However, while being in community, we fear speaking out loud, loving others, and rebuking others because we fear 'rejection'. So we resort to keeping quiet and being alone. Surprise! Surprise! You've flipped the teeter-totter and are now alone and alienated... again.

I have a feeling that this isn't going to be my only post on 'community.' My view on community is definitely no longer the same as it was a year ago. Actually... that's a pretty exciting thing. As society changes, the needs inside communities also changes. But one thing that does not seem to change is that God uses small groups of people to bring people to Him.

There's so many questions, concerns, and skepticism hovering over the concept of a 'small group' community. Does what we want to do as a small group biblical? Or is it cultural? Honestly, if we choose to do things the cultural way, it might work for a while, but I truly believe that God will bless the small group if we choose to do it the biblical way.

Acts 2:42 - "They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

The call for communal action that stood out for me were: devote, teach, break bread, pray, be excited to meet, sell, give, persevere, praise, and multiply. As I read Acts 2, it's so easy for my heart to ache and judge the shortcomings of my small group. However, I believe the Lord does not intend for us to feel that way. I'm not talking about grieving or being in anguish. I'm talking about that feeling that hardens my heart which disallows my spirit's encounter with Kingdom freedom. Despite the hardship and the questionable issues, our Father is continually pouring out blessings upon blessings into small groups. Being so fixated on the little things disallows me to see the greater picture.

I am beginning to notice Christians buying houses/condos further and further away from their church. Not only are they physically moving further away, their hearts are also. It's obvious, the closer people live together, the opportunity for greater intimacy in communal gatherings is greater. I understand it's hard to buy a house that is developed in the city. But the bigger picture is that issues such as listening and accountability are decreasing in communities and physical distance play a role in the dissension.

As mentioned, listening is gradually degrading. When was the last time someone listened to you? I'm not even talking about someone 'physically in your presence' listening. I'm talking about listening to you without distractions with their cellphones (text messages, emails), and psychological questions such as 'I am hungry... when can I go eat?' I'm also talking about the listening where their eyes are listening to you too as supposed to darting all over the place. When was the last time your friend's eyes were fixated on you and the conversation?

Accountability has also lost its influence of healing. What does accountability even mean to people nowadays? I think I have heard people say "I will keep you accountable" more often than seeing it happen. It's kinda like seeing a friend that's fallen into a hole and telling them you'll be back - but you end up not coming back. HAHA... speaking of accountability, one of my disciples recognized the growing belly I am developing. So he mapped out a workout schedule and drafted a commitment contract for me. This is what he said, "Since you're caring for my spiritual health, I'll keep you accountable in your physical health - you scratch mine and I scratch yours. We hold each other accountable." And then he goes into telling me that he'll buy me glucosamine and condriotin pills because he knows I have bad knees. That's crazy awesome.

Hebrews 10:24-25 - "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching"

Working together to meet the needs of people needs to occur first inside and then outside the community. Why does it have to start inside first? DuH...if your community isn't a community, what are you bringing people into? Imagine one heart with many hands. As we connect together more, we become stronger and we bear more fruit. If people leave small group, the small group's strength decreases. As we connect ourselves to the small group, we ourselves become stronger. Unless we assemble, the evil one will pick on us easily. Come... let us continue to pursue after Christ and the unity of believers.

Come-unity.

Serving the needy as serving Christ

As a body of Christ, how do we serve one another? So often, I see pastors overworking themselves for the sake of the congregation and nothing is reciprocated. There's 1 pastor caring for the needs of at least 300. Something seems utterly unfair with that 1:300 ratio. Not only do pastors care for the needs of the congregation of 300, they also need to find ways to 'fundraise' money to support the needs of their family. What would happen if the congregation began to support their pastors? Sorta like, we worry about getting your financial needs met while you worry about pastoring, caring, and bringing people to Christ. Overall, the ratio shouldn't be 1:300 - that's just spiritual suicide for our pastors. A congregational support ratio should be "1".

After service this morning, I texted my 'better half' this text message:

You know why i cried today? It's because i saw how much the Lord loves our city, the world, and the people we are surrounded with. I grieved over the lost, i identified with the hurting, i understood the suffocation experienced by the addicts, and i was just overwhelmed at the same time with joy and peace.

Just wanted to tell u that i see God calling us into something crazy. It'll be an "imprint" (sorta like what Jacob did in Twilight - Breaking Dawn) from God through us onto Toronto communities - LOL! How and where will we go/be? Not sure yet, but there is so many "little things" we can do. We are very very capable people. Together, i promise, we can expand His kingdom.

My visions? It's for our two churches to work together, for our industrial community and neighborhood community to see God's heart for them. It's to see the people we are investing into become future pastors, ministers, evangelists, and prophets. Im excited. Am i tired? Yes... But hopeful.

Here's her response:

You are amazing. Thanks for sharing more ....
Your heart is alive and in tune with the Fathers. So precious and inviting is the call to release kingdom alongside with you as we both tap into greater and fuller measures of holy spirit and his call to even scoop out cup by cup the ocean filled needs of His people.

...Much to pray into :)

I am so blessed to be partnered with someone as crazy as I am. Although we're completely opposite, with God as our third strand, we are experiencing a deeper intimacy of Christ in us that we never thought we'd encounter. I'm tired of coming to church and hearing about how Jesus died for me. I'm tired of coming to church hearing about others dying for their faith. I think it's time that I begin to walk out my faith fearless to death. I need to realize that as I live for my faith, I will die for it. Jesus already demonstrated the way - am I ready? I don't know... we'll see.

Preaching & Rebuking

One of my disciples asked me two loaded questions. These questions brought me back to my thoughts from my old journals when I was wrestling with the same issues. First off, it's inspiring to know that the upcoming generation of youths are already wrestling with these kinds of questions. Second, I am so hopeful that God will mobilize and inspire these young leaders to become the upcoming leaders for our current generation. This blog is simply a snippet of what was shared with my disciple.

How do we preach? And how do we call people out with boldness without fear of condemnation and rejection? First off, preaching is not something we are to do ‘all the time.’ If I had a friend that always ‘preached’ to me whenever we sat down and chatted, I’d be upset. I would probably feel like a ‘mission-field’ as supposed to a friend. So HOW do we preach? Personally… I think there’s many ways to preach. Throughout scriptures, Paul, the prophets, Jesus and the disciples all had a different ‘style’ in preaching (kinda like rappers and breakdancers who have different styles in their respective practices). However, when they preached, what did they speak about? Gospel and Jesus. Furthermore, whenever Jesus preached, he was sensitive to the needs of the crowd. Example, the woman at the well needed water. Jesus preached about Himself being the ‘living water.’ Therefore, when we preach or evangelize at school, work, or at home, we need to know the needs of our peers. Perhaps they are encountering academic depression, financial difficulties, or familial issues. We should speak to these individuals while being filled with the Spirit so that His fruits may be evident over these needs (i.e. peace, patience, kindness, etc etc etc). Perhaps the issue is being sensitive to Holy Spirit. Example, allowing Holy Spirit to convict us as to when we should preach or evangelize?

How do we call people out with boldness? I’m assuming my disciple is asking me, “How do I rebuke in boldness without fear?” Just so you know, I am also struggling with this. I had to dig into my journal and see my old thoughts and revelations on this issue. First off, my disciple is right! When we rebuke, there should be no feelings of fear in offending someone or fear of rejection. From Titus 2:15 – “These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.”

When you call someone out on their sins (i.e. rebuke), you got to ask yourself “why” is the rebuke necessary? Rebuking someone has to be done in an act of caring for them in the hope that they will repent and be strengthened to follow Jesus. Now that I think about it, rebuking is probably one of the most loving and needed things a person can do for another. I think the issue of why so many people fear rebuking is because of the thin line that defines “rebuking” and “judging.”

Note, rebuking is NOT judging. I think that’s a lie that we’ve grown accustomed to. We need to realize that we are called to rebuke when necessary and when we do, we must do so in love and concern for one another. When we see a family member heading to destruction, are we going to sit back and watch? No – that’s just stupid. The sin of omission is like that – sinning by not doing what we should do. Sometimes, however, it is difficult to discern whether we are rebuking in love or judging in pride. I guess the key distinction that separates judging from rebuking is whether or not you want the best for that person and are you doing it out of love. To be honest, I often want to rebuke someone out of anger or hurt – that’s judging. But despite this concern, one thing clear is that rebuking IN LOVE is necessary and commanded. It makes us stronger … or at least it should.

In practical terms, before you call out someone on their sins, first make sure that they actually ‘sinned’ as supposed to doing something you didn’t like. For example, which part of scripture did they break? Remember that passage where Jesus calls us out on worrying about the speck in our brother’s eyes when we have a plank in our own eye? Note, the passage doesn’t tell us NOT to take out the speck in our brother’s eye. It says deal with our OWN sins first. This passage brings something interesting into light. If we do decide not to confront someone on their sin, is it therefore because we do not want to deal with our own sin? I’ve heard people say, “I’ve been through what he or she is going through and I understand what they’re going through so I’m going to let them figure it out on their own" - sin of omission.

Second, as pastor Tim preached, always be ready to give chance after chance after chance. The moment we begin to administer who ‘deserves’ a second chance or who does not, we have elevated ourselves above others. As God’s Word states clearly, we are not to place ourselves above others, but by following Christ’ example, consider others more important than ourselves. Now, this doesn’t mean we are to walk around claiming that others are ‘cool’ and we ‘SUCK!’ We are all under one head – Christ. No one can boast according to his or her own competency. The outcome of rebuking someone is not only repentance, but also restoration into the body of believers.

Third, if the individual you rebuked does not show signs of remorse, do not allow that to affect you. It is vital to know that God is the one who leads people to repentance. We are simply instruments. We cannot rebuke only if we believe we’ll receive a response. We must obey what God convicts and leave the results to Him.

Overall, rebuking is a difficult thing. HAHA It’s easy to say we aren’t supposed to ‘feel’ condemned or rejected when we rebuke someone. But it’s obviously difficult. We need to know who we are and realize how much Daddy loves us. We need to be a people that is sensitive to Holy Spirit and He will give us the necessary words if we need to rebuke.