Love thy neighbor

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these" - Mark 12:30-31

I've been struggling a lot to love my neighbours. I've also been questioning a lot about who I am and whether or not there's something wrong with me. These questions and feelings of emptiness surfaces so often when I hear or think about certain people/experiences.  This passage has been echoing in my head for the past few days. OK... I exaggerated. This passage probably popped into my head only twice for the last two days. The words "...as yourself..." kept rippling out of the pages. When Jesus said '...as yourself,' does that mean that loving yourself precedes loving other people?

I forgot where I heard this from, but the story goes like this. There's a hammer lying on the forest ground. The hammer looks at itself and has no idea what it's purposed for. The efforts of discovering what it is made for only leads itself to utter failure and feelings of inadequacy. It begins to question its existence and how it's good for nothing. It's evident that the hammer cannot know what it is made for unless it has a creator and is used by the creator. You may argue, what if the hammer had a user manual? It could know what it is made for then! True! To have a manual means there was an original purpose written by an original designer. We could receive a manual on how to assemble a table or bed frame if we have a manual. Once assembled, we can begin using it to its manufactured potential. Likewise, the Bible (our manual) serves a similar, if not the same, purpose. The more we read God's heart breathed through his Words in scripture, we will begin to discover more of who we are and what we were made for.

So does loving yourself precede loving other people? Perhaps the focus should neither be on loving others or loving yourself, but on loving God. As you discover more of Him through committing your heart, soul, mind and strength to Him, you begin to discover more of your original purpose. I believe it is then that you are able to love your neighbors as yourself.

This principle of loving your neighbors and discovering your purpose and identity is something I struggle with very much. When numbers of people judge you or view you in a negative way, when people question your actions and do not give you a solution or recommendation, or when the people you once found security and comfort in are no longer there, you can't help but assume there's something negatively wrong about yourself. But God has been doing something very interesting in my life. As people release me from their life, I am noticing how God is also releasing them from mine.

I know, but I don't know

"The more of it (knowledge) we get, the easier it becomes to slip into a mode of life that assumes accumulated information equals gospel maturity. It doesn’t. Left unchecked, there is an inertia in gaining knowledge that moves us away from grace — away from a passion for God’s purpose for the world, away from the sufficiency of Jesus, and away from our small part in it all. " - Jonathan Parnell

“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.” - Stephen Hawking

I don't understand people these days. Why do you find the need to stalk old/current friends, ex/current girlfriend, and the random people with a cool picture as their display picture on Facebook or Twitter? When conflict occurs between people, people, including myself in the past, have snooped around seeking information about the other party because they are too prideful or fearful to approach them directly. There's just so many ways to supplement your approach to satisfy your curiosity or desire in knowing more about someone. Knowing more about someone doesn't mean you know them. Being selective in what you want to know about a person is not knowing a person at all especially if all you want to know are their mistakes. 

When people question someone's actions or character, instead of approaching them directly, the common trend is to have a discussion with a third party. What is the point of "finding out more" about someone when it's not even from the direct source? Let's say the direct source leaves out some facts. Is it really necessary to go search for those missing facts? We really gotta ask ourselves, does finding out more facts promote grace, love, peace and unity the way Paul encourages the churches to pursue? Being ignorant is not what I am promoting. If the realities of one's mistakes are evident, does that deter us from seeing the bigger picture? If missing information about someone stops us from living Heaven on earth and stops us from living as a community we are called to live, then we have potentially subjected ourselves to believe that more knowledge equals gospel living. 

The common reason to confront someone is to "rebuke" him or her. I believe in the need and necessity of rebuking when a close friend is found misaligned to the truth of the Gospel. But you gotta really ask yourself "are you actually rebuking?" or just listing out your frustrations? Some people are afraid to rebuke. And rightfully so because they probably don't know how to. From the lips of a good friend, "rebuking should be a beautiful thing because God is aligning someone back to Him." If rebuking is beautiful, why do we fear it so much? I think some people got rebuking all wrong. Rebuking isn't laying out your perceptions of a mistake onto someone. Rebuking is initiated by God, centered on Christ, foundation on love, and focused on the gospel of peace. What does that all mean? It's about praying for the individual. It's reminding the individual where they could be. It's about expressing God's love to them. It's about walking alongside them. It's not leaving them in the cold or their misery after you say what 'you want' to say. It's not stating the issues and leaving them to figure things out on their own. Even if mistakes are a reality, it's about seeing the bigger picture - that God loves the person not the mistake. What happened to seeing people the way Christ sees people? The administration of grace is not a subjective activity. We don't select who we want to extend grace to. Grace was given to all. Who are we to selectively choose who deserves grace? 

We are a complaining generation that lists out only the bad and never a solution or a way out. I understand "we're all imperfect and that we live in a broken world". But I think we need to step back and ask if we're using the spiritual state of humanity as a copout excuse to avoid approaching a tough situation to love the way Christ would.

God loves me

Just a few nights ago, I was lying on the floor while Michelle was on the phone with her best friend. I started to smile. I cannot believe how much I enjoyed being around this girl. I was genuinely excited to hear her voice, anticipate the topics of our next conversation, and smell the aroma of her natural human scent. But as these emotions began to take its place in the back of my mind, the song Michelle and I were listening to began to push its way forward. All I heard was "...there is power, in the name of Jesus. To break every chain..." I began to cry as I realized that as my joy of being around, smelling, and hearing my girlfriend, I realized that that's how Daddy feels about me. He enjoys my presence, my eagerness for Him, and my desire to speak to Him. The intensity of how I felt for my partner is obviously a lot less than how God loves and desires for us. Nonetheless, it definitely put things into perspective.

Functional Saviors

Again the Lord spoke to Ahaz, "Ask the Lord your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest heights." But Ahaz said, "I will not ask; I will not put the Lord to the test." Then Isaiah said, "Hear now, you house of David! Is it not enough to try the patience of men? Will you try the patience of my God also? Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel..." - Isaiah 7:10-14

Ahaz was a king that introduced many pagan and idolatrous customs. Furthermore, he committed the infamous evil act of killing his own son. This guy was king... He was king. Being king meant that he had leadership, influence, and power over a HUGE body of people. If you are in a position of influence, the influenced would, usually, adapt to what you do whether or not it is right. Regardless, God never gave up on Ahaz and even met with him saying (Isaiah 7), "How can I prove to you I exist? Ask me for any sign." But what was his response? "I will not ask; I will not put the Lord to the test."

In my initial reading of this passage, I thought his response was one of humility! But when the pastor read this, he expressed the shallow and wayward heart of Ahaz. This reminds me of the time when I was working at my local church as a Children Ministry Coordinator. The youths that attended our summer VBS program would, without shame, overtly break every rule they knew that were required from them. I remember asking them, "How can we prove to you we love you? What is holding you back from listening/participating? Ask us [sunday school teachers] and we'll do what we can!" The youths responded, "Nah... you're good!" essentially implying I don't want to test you. People don't naturally intend to test people unless you're a fool/punk/jerk! But the question is, when you do test people (i.e. of their patience, generosity, hospitality, etc), you can't help but ask "Why?"

Ahaz had a hidden purpose when he responded in a way that seemed 'humble.' His purpose was to look righteous and humble before people. Why? He believed that in responding in such a way would save him from his functional hell (i.e. judgement). In so doing, he became his own functional savior. We all have many functional saviors most of which we don't even know about. The pastor from today's service shared how when he was in his mid 30's, he began to yearn for a partner, a career, and family. He realized that in doing so, he had made these factors a functional savior. When he got married, he realized that him and his wife were not able to have children. Through the frustrations and heartache, Holy Spirit revealed to him how 'having children' became a functional savior within his marriage. Functional saviors are usually personal to our desires. God responds, "I will then give you something personal to me. My Son." What this means is that the things we hold personally dear to us can now be released because we can take on something so much greater. What God holds personal - His Son.

In the end, functional saviors are self directed and geared towards a failing effort to be free from our own functional hell. I need to recognize the Ahaz in me. What are the areas of my life where I put up a front to sound righteous and just to make myself sound spiritual when the reality of my heart is dry and thirsty? I need to abandon my 'self' daily and rejoice in the grace of Immanuel. That God gave us something personal to Him to be with us. He didn't just give us something personal... He is personal.